Monday, August 25, 2014
41 Weeks Pregnant
In my first pregnancy I remember every day passed my due date to be very emotionally draining and exhausting since not only was I reminding myself every day that there still was no baby but so were about 20 other people through texting, phone calls, social media, and the likes! There was no escaping it and that was hard- it was as if everyone and their brother was afraid I was going to have the baby and they weren't going to find out. This time however though friends and family are just as excited, it's not my first child and it's not the first grandchild for some of the parents thus the number of 'check ins' is significantly less. This has been such a wonderful change since it has allowed me to go about my day focusing on enjoying the present and not be bothered/reminded by the fact that there still is no baby that everyone so terribly would love to meet.
Going with this trend we're planning on announcing when the baby is born- not when I'm in labor. Everyone is on a 'need to know' basis this time around (yes, everyone) because that's what is best for me and quite frankly this is one of the few times in life where it should be all about what I need. That means that unless someone is a part of the birth team (also includes prayer team), or needed in looking after Gabriel, they won't be having any updates or check-ins about how things are progressing with labor because from my first experience, it created too much pressure, anxiety, and stress for me. To be even more brutally honest, I don't see how giving a play-by-play of labor is helpful to anyone (read me) or makes a difference other than to feed/calm curiosity. I promise everyone will be contacted and informed when what really matters happens and that is when the baby is born and we're welcoming visitors. This all might read terribly harsh but when looking back on my first pregnancy it's very obvious that I compromised myself quite a bit in order to keep everyone else happy, which was great for everyone else, but caused me a great deal of anger, frustration, and hurt.
Moving on... This last week has been filled with a crazy mess of emotions and changes, BIG changes. I'm not ready to share just yet what this entails but you'll know soon enough. God has moved some big hurtles for us, which has released a great deal of anxiety from my spirit and allowing me to enter into the labor experience with a positive attitude, excited and hopeful.
The cramping and Braxton Hicks have been picking up, I'm now getting up every 1.5-2 hours at night to use the bathroom and I've had a couple strong contractions. All of this is far more excitement then I ever had at the end of my pregnancy with Gabriel, it's quite a different experience. I was told that baby is sitting super low and isn't expected to be 9lbs yet, sweet! I'm still expecting my water to break to signal labor rather than starting with contractions but once again, who knows.
As far as what I've been up to I've reorganized the pantry (so terribly wanted to paint it but the color I wanted to use we were out of and I didn't want to break budget by buying more. Still bugs me though that I didn't paint...) and have been sewing up a storm for my Etsy shop/ stock for a local holiday craft fair. It has been so nice sewing as much as I have because I know I'm not going to be getting the chance to do so much in the near future.
Chris got all of last weekend off and blessed me by getting up with Gabe so I could sleep in and really took lead on taking care of Gabriel so I could take it slow and focus on staying relaxed and comfortable (i.e. a lot of pelvic circles on the yoga ball). Chris is also now back up to the office (he would have easily been able to go to Japan and come back before baby was born but we didn't know that unfortunately) so his work day is less demanding, more predictable, and I'll actually be able to get a hold of him reasonably if I happen to go into labor while he is at work.
Every day we get more excited to learn whether we're having another son or our first daughter and every day without baby we're thankful for another day to enjoy as a family of just three. It really is nice to mentally and emotionally not be hung up on the arrive of baby- so, so, SO, very nice.