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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Overcome the Lie

A month ago I was asked to write a post for a social media movement call Overcome the Lie that exists to empower women to overcome the lies because Jesus overcame the grave. It didn't take me long at all to accept the invitation as well as land upon what I felt needed to be said from my life. 

I wrote a post almost a year ago now how it has been a challenge to believe that my place in the home is not below my place in the classroom.  I have been a stay a home mom for almost a year and a half now. As of late I’ve been getting a lot of questions relating to whether I am going to go back to the classroom soon or if I am going to have more babies. At first this rattled me a bit. Often times I feel like women walk a fine line between being perceived as someone with respectable accomplishments or someone without, and I struggle with believe being a SAHM gives me a tally under respectable accomplishments. In those moments of honest questioning I felt like I should have a well thought out plan but the true is I don’t know and that’s just fine.

My whole life I’ve tried to have ‘a plan,’ one that would take me where I needed to go in order to get to somewhere else I should be. Drive and ambition is great but when they steal your attention from what God has that is no doubt greater (because he is God) then instead of following a flawless plan you wind up following lies of distraction. Five years ago my plans about lost me the greatest change of course the Lord could have presented to me.

Chris and I had been dating for a few months, things were going great (besides my whole issue with commitment and relationships…) but I slowly started to get caught up in my head that our projected directions were not lining up. I had a pretty clear vision of my future- I was going to student teach abroad, get my masters in education and help to begin a school in Africa that had a focus on special education. I would travel, live from my suitcase, and love on God’s children. Eventually I’d meet a man with the exact same passion and we’d live happily ever after. THE plan. Well I met Christopher- a loving, smart, well-traveled man who loved the Lord. Chris was at college getting his master’s degree in structural engineering, which meant I put him in a box and decided that he was going to spend his whole life living close to the city working in a big skyscraper building for an engineering firm. He’d take the occasional 1-2 week travel vacation to a nice place with his family but that was that. Gross right? **Please marinate that in sarcasm.

What did all this boil down to? One afternoon I told Chris to meet for a walk where I proceeded to side blind him during one of the most difficult weeks of his whole academic career by saying something along the lines of, “I am suppose to live a life traveling the world living in different cultures. You’re going to have an office job… I just don’t see you in God’s future for me.” First off, any of you single ladies out there reading this I beg of you, never use the line, “I just don’t see you in God’s will for me.” Or anything like it (also another one to avoid, “God wants me to break up with you.”), they are copouts and you need to own your actions.

What I told Chris was a lie was believing. The truth was that I was all out terrified because I knew that we were heading in the direction of marriage and that was not the plan nor did I know what the future looked like with him! Rather than acknowledging this I believed the lie that my plan was perfect and if something caused me to get off course than that "thing" was bad.

Flash forward 5 years and we’ve been happily married for almost 3.5 years, have a beautiful baby boy, a baby on the way and are currently living in Japan for the third time through his very respected, not an office job, engineering career. As a stay at home mom I utilize every bit of my degree and more and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d say that my “plan” still came to fruition, just not in the exact package I dreamed it up to be. The Lord knew this all along and my plans and the lie I believe that I was the only one that knew how to make it happen almost distracted me from the greater good that was ahead.

So do I know what I’m doing once I’m done with this whole stay at home mom thing, nope. Nor do I know how long it will last. Just because I taught before hand doesn’t mean I need/should/want to go back to that but me saying that doesn’t mean that I won’t or don't want to. I honestly have no idea what the future holds for us and rather than believing the lie that not knowing is irresponsible I am enjoying my life in the present and looking forward to what God has for us in the future. One of our most common prayers is that we invest in the present but hold loosely enough to it so that He may more easily lead us in a different direction. I guess everyone will be waiting on the edge of his or her seats until the time comes where I decide what my next move will be. **Again, tenderize and marinate that with sarcasm. 
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  1. Aw, I love this. My plan was definitely different before I met my husband, too. I did not want to get married early but once I met him and we fell in love, I knew it was going to happen. I got married at 20 and I know that a lot of my friends thought I was crazy. I did finish college and I use my degree every day, and I definitely do not regret anything!

  2. What a beautiful post, Lena. We really never know what life has in store for us, do we? But then again, that's what makes it so interesting ;)

  3. Lena, so lovely and heartfelt! Thank you for sharing. I struggle with not having a direction, but you are right, it's okay not to know.

  4. I'm glad you have no regrets! I think we are sometimes lead to feel guilty by society. The irony of it is that when I was getting married and starting a family my peers thought I was crazy for starting so young but now that we are starting to getting closer to 30 than 20 they are starting to panic about not being married yet and starting a family. Grass is always greener for some people I guess.

  5. Yea I know we've talked about this. :)

  6. I loved this post! The idea of having your own plan and God having a different one for us occurs so many times. Thanks for sharing. New follower. Enjoying getting to know your adventurous life abroad!


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