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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Can It Sometimes Be Better to Not Celebrate?


Today marks Hub's and my three year anniversary. We truly cherish our life together and couldn't imagine it any other way but this was something we actually did discuss the other night half heartedly. We aren't fighters, we're talkers and hikes, bookstores and board games bring a lot of joy to our hearts. With that said three years running our anniversary has been hands down some of the least enjoyable times we've had together. 

Year 1: HUGE expectations on both ends wanting to make it the best and everything flunked. There was lots of crying and a lot of silence and a "romantic" trip ended less than 24hrs after it started. We now know we set ourselves up for this with so many expectations and it is all a pretty big joke now.

  Year 2: I was 7 months pregnant wrapping up the end of the year teaching kindergarten and Chris was sick as a dog on the couch all week. I didn't remember until I went to write the date on the board before class and Chris plum forgot.

Year 3: We could have finally flown home today but it would have cost us $1700 to switch my ticket and that was just for economy. So, we're here another two days. 

It's funny- on one hand we want to acknowledge and celebrate that we have been married for another year since marriage should be celebrated but on the other hand our normal days are just so much better than our anniversary days have been. We've talked about keeping our celebrating really low-key until 5 or 10 years and then take a trip with the money we didn't spend on the previous anniversaries but with our luck that probably wouldn't work out either. Or maybe when we have a great day/weekend no matter when it happens we can claim that as our anniversary celebration.

I used to think that the old traditional anniversary gifts were silly but maybe if we started with paper and worked our way up (year two was cotton and year three is leather) then maybe our experiences wouldn't have been so awful in comparison to everyday life. Fortunately the quality of anniversary celebrations is not a reflection of marriage, phew! 

What's your history with anniversaries?

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18 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary! Wishing you all the best!
    P.S. I would love for you to join in on tomorrows What I Wore Wednesday link up! stop by the blog to check out the easy rules! Hope to see you there!

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    1. Thanks for the well wishes!
      I'll for sure stop by and be inspired by the fashion of others, thanks!

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  2. Happy Anniversary!

    Well Jay and I have been dating for 10 years and married for 1. We are celebrating our married anniversary in a few weeks with a big trip (fingers crossed it goes well haha). However, all of our dating anniversaries weren't very pretty either haha. I think we just expect that one day out of the year to be amazing when really, every other day is great so why only celebrate on one day?! I remember always thinking "why does today suck so bad and yesterday was so good". I would have to remind myself "Well the world doesn't stop because it's your anniversary." :) I think we all just put too much pressure on one day to be amazing.

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    1. Thanks Jamie!

      "...every other day is great so why only celebrate on one day?!" I love that. Happy early anniversary!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! I can't believe it has been three years already. Our one year Haydn was at officer training school and my mom and I had just arrived in DC after driving across the country in the jeep (no ac). I was able to talk to him on the phone for a very short time but that is all. I just hope this year I can actually see him.

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    1. I cannot believe it either! And I hope you get to see him too.

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  4. Happy Anniversary! I have to admit that I have all sorts of expectations for our anniversary, 7 years this August, but it always seems to fall flat. What my love and I have been doing for the past 5 years, as year 1 anniversary was a disaster, is talking about and celebrating all that we have accomplished in the past year. Reminiscing about our lives each day, the simple things. Now, on our anniversary we sit down together and talk like the friends we are and share our special moments with each other. We have learned that we don't need to make our commitment day any more than another day we have the privilege of loving and caring for each other.

    Barbara @ www.allmylivesnow.com

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    1. I think the "nice" part about number one being a disaster is that there is nowhere to go but up, right?

      We did wind up doing a lot of reminiscing and it was a very sweet day even if it wasn't what we were hoping for. Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Happy Anni! A lot happens in 3 years of marriage, doesn't it? It's exciting to think what just 3 more years will bring! Mike and I were married at age 21 and 22; we'll be married 8 years in July and it took me at least 6 of those years to grow up, mature, to find Christ and start becoming the wife to Mike I'm meant to be. You are way ahead of the game, my dear, and you're right- it's not measured in the way you celebrate anniversaries :) I feel so blessed to have you for a sister-in-law, and I'm so freaking excited you're coming home!

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  6. You're right! A marriage is built every day. It's made of the beautiful daily moments, not the once-in-a-while gestures. :] That said, it's still fun to celebrate big and small. My 2nd anniversary is next month and I do not know what we will do yet!

    Happy Anniversary and God bless
    -Samantha

    http://substanceandsoul.tumblr.com

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    1. Thanks! And a happy (early) second anniversary to you as well!

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  7. Happy Anniversary! And with that said...to me anniversaries are really very personal and probably only matter much to the people involved. Not that others don't wish you well but it really is about you and him, isn't it? I'm in my second marriage, the first one lasting only 9 months(I got married too young and for all the wrong reasons!) but this one happened when I wasn't looking and we fell in love over letters and phone calls while he was out to sea. So we got to know each other in a different and kind of old fashioned way. Kind of the way a lot of people are finding their mates online now, so when I hear of those finding love online, I know that it can work. You get to know someone in a different way, and it's tangible because you have the letters (and emails now) that you don't have when you date conventionally. Anyway...we are going on 29 years this November. Probably one of the greatest accomplishments I have ever made because there have been good times, really good times, and bad times and really bad times, and just ok everyday life times. For whatever reasons, love, determination, a refusal to quit, I have stuck it through. I think of all the time I have invested in this person and there are times when I see the man I married and that is when I realize that I am in it for the long haul, no matter how much I complain or don't like this or that about him. I'm sure, no in fact I am positive that he has his list too...but he and I are still together and when we talk about the bad and the good...neither of us wants to give up.
    So....I try to remember to cherish and hold on to the good times and the good memories cause they are what get me through the bad times. But for me there isn't anyone else that I want to go through life with other than him.
    You are making your family's history and whatever you do, do it with love and fun!
    :-)

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    1. Thank you for this Mary. I so look up to you couples who have been together for decades and are honest about the hardship but see through it!

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  8. I really love your blog :) So glad to have found you through the Grab a Friend Blog Hop!

    - Jen

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you found me too!

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  9. Haha, my husband and I were talking about something similar, but rather than our anniversary it was a date night. We finally got a sitter and had a night out to ourselves when we had to wait 40 minutes to get into the restaurant, the food was awful, we regretted spending the money and the whole time would have rather been on the couch munching on homemade cookies & watching old 24 episodes like we do every night!! Haha, totally get this!

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  10. aww done give up on celebrating your annv. it doesn't have to be hollywood style!! low-key is best, small is best and just make sure you make a NOTE of it and not forget! remember you'll have plenty more and will get better at it. our first year was the same way, a super big plan ended up being such a let down. but now we know better. small gifts or just thoughtful notes or sentiments are MUCH better than big crappy plans. Just started following you from Hannah's Joyful Life!

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I love reading your comments so please don't be shy! I'll usually even invite myself over after you've dropped a note to see what you're up to!

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